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16 Dec '16
8 Things Petrolheads Absolutely Hate
Petrolheads have over the years been defined in numerous callings, as either hardcore and devoted car enthusiasts or rebellious individuals stuck in the archaic dependence on fossil fuels.
Which definition do you go by?
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Petrolhead is someone who is an enthusiast of petrol engine cars, and favours petrol fuel over diesel any day of the week.
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Petrolhead is a term of abuse used by environmentalists against car users.
Whichever definition you love and loathe, here are 8 things most petrol heads can come to collectively hate when on the road...
Crawlers and Slow Drivers
If it isn’t the over 75’s crawling tepidly at 9 mph in a 20 mph zone, the onslaught of new driver’s brandishing their much-celebrated win over the DSA with P-plates graffiti-ed across the front and rear of their Corsa’s, can be just as infuriating. Van drivers, however, are much praised for their 'go-getter' driving style. As are M3 owners. Speaking of BMW’s...
Marque-specific Drivers
There’s not a chance in driving “hell”, that you have not come across a few drivers fitting stereotypes defined by car culture. Unfortunately, Audi and BMW drivers are seen to be misfits in the car world, with Audi drivers notorious and aggressive driving habits along with their continual tailgating, strikes up a nerve amongst petrol heads, while BMW drivers are on a hunt to swerve into any car on the road; be it your friends or yours. Apparently, BMW’s don’t come with indicator fluid out of the factories’ in Germany.
Question: When was the last time you saw a BMW use its indicators?
Non-Car Guys Just Won’t Get It
Got a friend, or someone in the family who’s punching his weight around how low the co2 emissions of their latest ride is? And if we go one better, they consider cars to be something that gets you from ‘A to B’... heard that before? These folks just won’t ever get it.
Often you may come across the ‘tree huggers’ of the world, disclaiming their faithful efforts in helping the globe get rid of toxic cars; moreso diesels. Think Al Gore, and you’d be on the right train of thought. The most influential ‘green’ groups, can even be powerful enough to lobby for more pro-climate vehicular safety and emissions standards. Today, the French government has decided to ban cars predating 1997 to control emissions in the city.
Speed Limits Everywhere
Driving on UK roads (epic public driving roads such as the Buttertub Pass) can be a blast for petrol-heads in their Impreza’s or their haldex wheel-driven Golf R’s - until that is, you hit the 20 mph zones scattered across what petrolheads consider 99% of the UK. A few things can be as adrenaline-pumping as revving the nuts’ of these purring engines, and it’s all great and all-encompassing, until you reach the 2nd gear.
That is unless you are Smokey Nagata! (Chief of Japanese tuner-house ‘Top Secret’ who daringly spruced up his V12-engine-powered Supra to a dizzying 197 mph on the A1, one morning).
On the other parts of Europe, however, things are more brighter with speeds up to 300km/h and over, having been witnessed. We can only say those poor souls in their Fiat’s and Dacia’s in the next lane, must be terrified, at the mere expense of travelling across Europe’s best-known stretch of road.
Potholes And No Fix In Sight
Picture this...Your car detailing company has invested in a brand new A45 Mercedes AMG, and you’re heading over to a car event with your fancy show plates and custom graphics; and where did you actually end up?
Your A45 ended up on a ramp in the nearest Kwik-Fit for a wheel alignment check, because 8 trillion unavoidable potholes would have forced you to drive on the opposite side of the road. Worse still, it could have been a giant sinkhole.
Electronic Aids Reduce Quality of Life
Whether you’re still driving a Nova, or a fully-specced S14 Silvia - electronic aids just won’t help you impress the ladies. With handbrake skids a thing of the past (James May’s era!), Japanese cooked-up drifting and power sliding, and the good ‘ol burnouts are today’s thing in sprucing up your dating life. Petrolheads know how to muster the switching off all electronic nanny tech, and if you don’t already know how to do this, read up on your car’s manual asap!
Advice: Avoid hitting the next car meetup, unless you’ve read your car’s manual.
Pricey Fuel Results in More Sunday Drivers
What’s the most mundane gripe amongst real petrolheads? You’ve guessed it, rising fuel prices. To lease a brand new M140i, and to then effectively be forced to tell the missus it can’t be driven between Mondays to Saturdays. Welcome to the UK, and a few other countries of course. With average fuel prices across the UK at a rather steep £1.18p (as of the time of writing), petrolheads are turning to more economical solutions in the form of small, diesel hatchbacks till the next Sunday arrives. Great news for 1.0-litre eco boost producers however.
Ricers. Just Stop. It’s Not Photoshop!
If there’s one aspect of car modifications; be it styling or performance-related, ricers exasperate real petrolheads the most. Double-decker spoilers on Honda Civics, or even Citroen Saxo’s can be seen as the worst offenders at the stoplights. Akrapovic exhaust systems or over-exerting ‘fart cannons’?
Customizers of vehicles with just cosmetic upgrades and no performance enhancements are seen to be the distasteful amongst the modifying scene. Before you think ‘Fast & Furious’, remember those cars have been heavily modified with engine and chassis upgrades.
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